i'm obsessed ...

with grey's anatomy. i shouldn't have found my grey's anatomy season 1 dvd. i ordered 2 at christmas time, one for me and one for dana. i finally gave dana hers on sunday night but i couldn't find mine. cristina said she had seen it in my glove compartment, and lo and behold there it was. i had sunday night and tuesday night off. because i can't sleep during the night anymore, i watched all 9 episodes between those two nights. i can't wait for season 2 on dvd. there's so much to cover. i kept expecting the one abou tthe hysterectomy and the one about meredith's mom coming through the ER but i guess that was all early this season. i think i have to start watching my gilmore girl season dvds in the meantime. but i may be boycotting since i hated the end of this season. anyway, have a good night.

the bet

last week joey met cristina at IHOP. when he was taking me home,

joey: i met her at mina and danny's luau.
me: i don't think she was there. she was at the wedding, maybe you met her at the wedding.
joey: no, she was on the swing bench.
me: no, i would have remembered her there. wanna bet?
joey: do YOU want to bet? (this is in reference to the fact that since joey and i have been together, i have NEVER won a bet! NEVER! and that's over 2 years of betting!)
me: (since i was too proud at this point to back down) yeah, let's bet. i'll call her.
joey: are you going to call her now?
me: yeah, i'll call her now.

so i call cristina and apparently i phrased the question wrong.

me: just had a question, did you go to danny and mina's shower?
cristina: yeah, i was there with reg. we came at the same time
me: you were? are you sure? i would have remembered (meanwhile joey's laughing in the background)
he said i phrased the question wrong. if i would have had a leading question instead, she would have gotten the hint and said, no, i wasn't there. and then i would have had this picture to prove it. this is the reason i lost the bet. you're not in the picture. had you been in the picture, i would have remembered. see, it's not my fault.

communication

now i understand why i can't hold grudges. because then i start to feel bad. after my angry post yesterday i realized maybe i should stop and think. it still perplexes me why i would be blamed in this situation but i just wanted to say my part and i guess i feel better. putting all anger aside, i decided to say ... just listen ... and i did. and i guess it's okay now. that's one good thing i learned from my ex-bf. never say things out of anger. whenever we would fight, he would stop and say we couldn't talk about things now and then he would leave and then he'd call me when he was ready. by the time we would be talking again, i would have thought things through and then we would actually communicate. so that's one good thing he taught me. so now, when i deal with fighting words, i stop and say, i can't talk to you right now and don't respond until later. yeah it's annoying but it takes the emotions out of things and you don't spill out all of these nasty thoughts and words, you know what i mean? joey thinks it's pretty effective because he said that if i were to yell at him (and i don't, but if i did) then he would just tune me out. that's what he used to do with his ex. she would nag/yell/ nag at him over things and he would just tune her out which would just frustrate her more because he wasn't listening. but now that we both figured out our fighting styles, we tend to communicate better.

angry

i'm angry. and i don't get angry. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. why do people expect certain things and then when they don't get exactly what they want or hear exactly what they want to hear do they get see a need to blame someone for this??? arrgghhh. i really don't know what to say.

i just called joey: i'm so angry
joey: at me?
me: no, just angry at something ... explanation
joey: listening - he's good at that part
me: ok, just wanted to vent. have a good day

so i thought that would help but i'm still angry. but i don't hold grudges because i've always said that they're a waste of time and energy. so i'll just let it go soon. not now, but soon. arrrrrrrrrrrggghhh.

amazing what long showers can do. i just took one and i stood there thinking. i think i know why i'm angry. i didn't step back and think about the situation until now. i thought i was being consulted by a friend as a friend. but i wasn't. i was being consulted because i was my friend's friend. i was being used. i think. and that's why i'm angry. because i was used and now i'm being blamed. and that just sucks.

what a combo

so i had to work on thurs, fri and sat nite. i went home on sunday morning about 8:30 and then woke up at 11 so i could meet joey for 12 noon Mass. i couldn't complain because he was going to go to Mass with me before work. it was so cool because the meditation song was my favorite Days song - Maria Ina Ko - is that right? anyway, I had never heard that song outside of Days and I was like wow, thanks. anyway, the gist of the homily was that we are all children of God. it was a good one. then I get a call from Mark that the homily he heard from Fr. Pat was a good one too. Mass in Latin being misa, meaning to send forth and for us to go out into the world and spread the Word. that's cool. I then went back to sleep and didn't wake up wake up until about 1900 when Dana called me to see if we were still going to meet up. I said ok, I hadn't eaten since 2300 the night before. so off I went to D &B's and met up with these three. we're cute huh? j/k. anyway, we had lots of interesting conversations and we didn't even have to have any alcohol.
we get to the bar while we're waiting for our table and we ordered water and ice tea. wow, how adventuresome.
we got the food and power play combo and we didn't even get a chance to play our games.
interesting conversations of change and no change. some that i don't necessarily agree with and some i do.
more conversations about platonic relationships and how they can't exist. really, though, they can't exist.
relationships, more relationships, and more relationships.
hook ups vs. dating vs. relationships - what's the fine line?
when to do the lean. 90/10. does it really work?
skinny ______
people's bubbles and getting into them.
educational night.
i think we're very open people.
we're not catty. that's good.
when's ghetto spa night part II really?
shortened names. i'm thinking poo or oop. hehehe - i think i like the latter. jk
oh well. off to work now. i'm sure there's more that i missed but i'm really tired. hope you all had a good memorial day weekend.

best wishes and congratulations

I stole your title day - i didn't know what else to call it. anyway, congrats and best wishes to jay and cici on their engagement! wooohoo! weddings in 2007, here we come!

laughter

my examples of laughter. please just imagine the sound. that's me laughing at something. i think something's really funny.
this is my nephew, lucas. can you see the laughter? it's more of a screech at this point.
i think this is alcohol-induced laughter, but laughter none the less. doesn't joey look like a joker?

one of the things that i love doing is laughing. it's fun and it makes me laugh more. i was talking to my the other day and she has a new laugh. for those of you that don't know, mina has a silent laugh so since most of our communication is over the phone, she wants to make sure that we know she's laughing. so she has "found" a new laugh. it's gross. so gross that it makes you laugh too. ask her to do it for you. put her on speaker phone so others can laugh with you. it's gross.
yesterday joey visited me before i went to work. i lost a bet with him the other day because i didn't phrase my question to cristina correctly. so we drove my car and then when i was getting out of the car, i couldn't find my id badge. i searched through my purse and then i found it in my car. well, we had ordered our food and i looked in my purse and realized that i didn't have my wallet. joey looked at me and said "how convenient." i always tend to misplace my wallet when i need to pay for lunch - but seriously i couldn't find it. when we got back to the car after lunch, there, sitting on my chair, was my wallet. "how convenient" he again responded and we both burst into laughter. and it was like jolly laughter, straight from the belly, hearty, whole. it was nice. one of the first things that i noticed when joey and i were together was his laughter. although we were roomies for three years, i never really noticed him laugh before because he always was so melancholy. but now he laughs. and i laugh with him. and we laugh together. i love it.

sleep

i'm supposed to be sleeping now. i wanted to train my body to sleep in so that i can stay awake tonight but it's not working. i slept at 3 am so that i would hopefully wake up later since i have to work at 7 PM tonight. didn't happen. i woke up at 8 and tried to go back to sleep and then i woke up again at 10. and now i'm awake. i'll do some stuff and try to take a nap again in a little bit. please pray that i stay awake tonight because i'm really worried. thanks.

happy anniversary o's

happy 3 year anniversary to my favorite orense couple - pia and jerome! their wedding happened before i had my digital camera so i don't have any of their wedding pictures on my computer, but here are some photos i dug up from my life as a paparazzi. this is when they smiled with their eyes open. they started to close them over the years - this is at my and danny's wedding. cute, huh?
cute, they match. this is from lovette and fil's wedding. i think they lit candles. i missed the ceremony to be at another wedding but i really wanted to be at this one - really - and arrived fashionably late to see everyone and to share my congrats!
these are a little out of order but this is when the eye closing begins. and they didn't even plan this one. i took the picture and they asked each other if they closed their eyes and they both did! i guess you start to think alike once you've been married.
i think this is the only picture that i have with them that they're not running away from me. this is when i jumped so i think they felt sorry for me.
and this was taken after the next one .....
to my favorite toe holding couple - the o's - happy 3rd anniversary! to many more years to come! and i can only pray that i may find as much happiness in a relationship as you two have shown possible. love ya both!

always time for photo ops

so here are some pix from the weekend ... wow ... look at the progression ... starts from my own rec (26) and vice rec (27) - dexie and lovette ... then we're missing audrey ... then dee, fran, my, reg, me and cristina ... crazy ... but cool
look batch 26 girls with lara ... can't wait until you're out little one!
little eye and big eye meet once again ...
the kims ... smiling because they are still able to sleep right now. not such the case in a couple of weeks
the riveras ... aren't they cute?
cristina and me outside, inhaling the nice pollutant air
eileen, marianne, franny, kirsten and dee ... such beautiful smiles ladies!
dee popped in again in this one too ... with day, dex, kristin and reg
then we complete off the circle ... reg leans in with me, cristina, lovette and eileen (cause she too leaned over ... haha)
the peasant skirt memo and then some. anissa and sandro, pia and sept, me, day, fran and dee
look, their stomachs look so similar ... haha
GB, Jimbo and Pampy ... our fearless leaders
the vets ... marjo, cara, andy and pia
and here are the wonderful men of men's batch 34: GB, Joe, Gerry, Erwin, Gary, Brenton, Adrian, Matt and Jimbo! welcome welcome welcome to our new family members! muah!

thanks

just wanted to let you know my brother got a job! yay! thanks for the prayers!

spoons, hot dogs and tacos

yesterday was fun. francia called me at 9 in the am to go visit them. i was checking some stuff and i told them that i would be there at 10:30. i didn't leave home until 10:30 and i was going to call that i would be late, but i get a call at 10:45 that they just woke up again. interesting. when i got to shawshank francia and cristina are still in their pj's. so much for being late. anyway, so our day begins.
- talked to reg on the phone while the girls got ready
- so much to talk and vent about - i love having verizon together!
- went to noon Mass - that was nice - i haven't done it in a long time and then i really want to go to Mississippi now. that would be so cool
- went to visit Paul at his Place. dude, whoever thought of adding avocado and turkey to a burger is awesome! it's so yum! then we had our plethera of mushroom, zucchini, onion rings and fries. orange bang vs. horchata? hmmmm
- telling scary stories about Kolping. that one about the little moaning girl was good. poor Arnold. but the best part was cristina scaring herself with her own thoughts. that was classic.
- i really want to try a white gummy bear now. that sounded yum
- "i don't have any tests to study for." "i like not having school" "i like this parking lot" thanks Fran!
- tried to take a nap. it was actually a nice nap albeit was way too short.
- ct - it's so nice. please don't make fun of me anymore.
- the ultimate spoon fest. that was fun. i like being the little spoon. i've never been part of a triple spoon before. that was quite interesting.
- i don't know how it would be being the middle spoon. awkward? tacos? and hot dogs? blah.......
- heat of the moment ... those questions have got to go ... weird
- Franny's got game ... let's go to vegas to show her off
- i think we're a little indecisive. i think we were supposed to watch a movie and that never happened. and it wasn't going to be Poseidon - IMAX - sorry Fran
- i think angie has renamed her pillow bubba. yay bubba!
- getting Eileen's text that said "it's time" i got all excited and the girls looked at me like i was crazy. she was going into labor! thoughts and prayers to you my friend!
- passing my's phone call along like 3x before she realized it wasn't kay
- getting boba and chicken
- "does your man ... ?" see ang, so natural... hehe ... keep me posted
- talking to bubba on the car ride home and telling him all about these things. we're spreading the word about ct - it's so nice.
- and the end of the night conversation. thanks cristina. i went to sleep right after instead of trying to stay awake. i tried though but my bed was way too comfortable.
thanks gals for an awesome day! until the next time - muah!

what a weekend

it never ceases to amaze me what happens when He is there amongst us ... the awesome prayer that led us to the car ... the power of prayer and vigil and the prayer warriors that appeared ... the many prayers for the weekend and the prayers that led us to where we are ... transition, here we come!
sorry about the crying guys ... it was ugly crying i know. blah, my eyes were so gross after then. i just get really sad when we're all together and then the one person that i want to share everything with isn't right there beside me. it makes me sad. sad to the point of crying, even ugly crying. we talked for a little bit last night but i think i was delirious from the lack of sleep. i just need to give him some time. in His time. and this i pray. amen.

balance

i'm struggling for balance right now. today was the first day that i've spent more than an hour with my bf for over a week now. it was actually nice. we got to hang out and talk even though i just went to go visit him at work. our schedules are so different right now and are going to be even more different when i start working nights - which is next week - that we're going to have to schedule time together. how sad. but people do it all the time and we're people, so we can do it. anyway, hopefully everything will be balanced in all respects someday.

i know this was supposed to be on tues ...

but i didn't have time to write about the season finale of grey's anatomy. i think dana and franny hit it on the button but still i don't know what to say about that show. poor cristina who has never seen the show ... she just happened to come home to see when meredith and dr. mcdreamy are about to hook up and all she sees is them getting undressed. so she calls me and asked me why i watch this show - trust me, it was just bad timing. anyway, i hate the fact that they slept together again. i hate the fact that cristina (sandra oh on the show) couldn't get it together. her bf just got shot and she ran off to go back to bailey when bailey specifically told her that burke had asked to see her. then when the chief and dr. shepherd ask her to make him focus on her, she turns around? what is up with that? she's got to be strong for him. that's part of the deal - good times and bad, right? anyway, i hope that he gets the fine motor control back in his hands. i am saddened if the best ct surgeon will never be able to operate again. it all comes back to izzy. if she hadn't lied about all of the data about denny, then burke would never had questioned her and would never have flown back to seattle grace and would not have been in front of the hospital when that restaurant manager walked out and got shot by petey. it's all's izzy's fault that burke got shot. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. can you tell i love dr. burke? anyway, can't wait for season 3 to come out and can't wait for season 2 on dvd.

employment

so yesterday when we had our mother's day dinner, there was a lot of talk about employment. my brother recently got laid off. he was one of 3800 that worked for Ameriquest when they did that mass layoff. so he is currently unemployed. they get paid up through july 1st though so at least there's some income. he's the sole breadwinner in the family and they've got 3 kids, 2 cars a house and a dog so please keep him in your prayers. my brother-in-law's last day was on friday. he and his supervisor quit their jobs to start their own business. we pray for their success. and, my dad's bank is going to be sold. paperwork shouldn't completely be done until the end of the year, but that means that he'll be unemployed as well. maybe he'll decide just to retire. he deserves it. gabe (my bro-in-law) told joey that he either has to get laid off or quit so they can all be in the same boat. i hope not. anyway, please keep them all in ur prayers. thanks.

Dr. Burke

oh Dr. Burke ... please don't be dead! i know you're not going to be, but my heart sank when i saw him lying there motionless with blood oozing out of who knows where. and who's going to operate on him if it's a ct issue? he's the cardiothoracic attending! maybe the chief or bailey or maybe he has a brain injury and dr. shepherd - who i hate - will operate on him. please don't have anything happen to dr. burke. he's my favorite man on grey's anatomy. ok, enough drama, i'm going to bed.

happy momma's day and happy anniversary

Happy Mother's Day everyone!!! Just a little note to my dear mothers!
This is me and my lola - my mom's mom! She's the one that always cooked for me when I was little. I love you lola!
Here's me and my momma! Happy Mother's Day Mom!!! I love you!

These are Happy 1 year anniversary greetings to Mr. and Mrs. Danny Calmelat!!! To many more years to come! Love ya and miss ya guys!

not good

there are a couple of not goods this morning:

1) i think i'm sick - what i thought could be allergies last night has not gotten better. and now there's a cough and the phlegm is coming. yay.
2) i know this is late but american idol fans need to start voting appropriately. i feel bad for chris. he was so good. we'll see and hear him again
3) i watched er last night and they killed off galant. it was so sad. the military people came and gave neela their condolences. she told him not to go back. and they gave her the tape. do they really do that? how sad. it made me cry.
and the worst not good of all ...
4) i talked to my sister last night and i have been forewarned. gbox (my photo gallery) may be coming down. imagine the sadness that i feel. i was trying to add more pictures last night and edit the other ones and this is the third time i've tried with 3 different computers and still nothing so I called my sister. she said that gabe's been having problems with it and may have to shut it down. sucks. so get your fill now my loves because i don't know when he'll get a new server. boo.

weekend

friday i worked and sunday i worked. so saturday was the only day that i could go out. saturday was a rowland heights filled day. picked up cristina from rowland hs. went to target and the mall, starbucks, st. liz, banana bay, and starbucks. all within a 5 mile radius over 9 hours. crazy huh? anyway, very productive day to say the least. anyway, my favorite quote of the weekend would have to be from Fil.
Fil: he's very influential
us: he is?
Fil: yeah, you tell him what to do and he'll do it
us: influential - that's not influential
Fil: (emphasizing) yeah, you know, he'll do what you say
Cristina: you mean easily influenced?
Fil: that's what I said ...

Fil, you gotta love him. anyway, here are the pix from this weekend

this is Pia and Jerome after the whole influential thing
this is our girl shot. GB wanted to be in it so we let him. i'm very not sitting straight.
look who we met ... this is baby Lucas - Kathy and Gerard's son
this is the new toast mobile. Lovette is checking out the O's new ride
this is the card we gave Lovette and Fil for their shower. Fil's not too happy about it but everyone else thought it was funny. sorry Fil
we got the denim memo ...
reg tried to cut off our heads in this one. cristina's too tall
look who we ran into ... LOG coming back from their spirit rally ... hello kiddos!
this is a couple shot ... that's why jerome and fil are next to each other
look coordination ... purple shirts sandwiched between denim jackets. wow
and here we are back at starbucks again. then i went home, had a chat on the driveway and went to bed. yay.

flashbacks

speaking of flashbacks, I always look at this picture and it makes me smile. this was taken pre-digital camera days. it looks so rustic because one day I took a picture of this picture with my digital camera so that I could have it on my computer. yes i know i could have scanned it but that would have taken too long. anyway, this is joey and i's first official dating picture together. it was at dana's birthday at gotham hall (january 4) and we had had "the talk" on new year's day - you know the talk that goes: "what are we?" so this was our first couple appearance together - like we're some singing duo or whatever. i was so sad that winter season. i went to first saturday Mass in december and we went out to dinner after Mass for Fil's birthday. there were 11 people - 5 couples and me. Jerome happened to notice and was like, "Hey, you're the only single one here." I was like thanks for pointing that out. So my thought process was like, another holiday season solo. But then Mammoth happened and then that's when the transition happened and Joey and I started dating two weeks after that. I saw Jerome again for Jimmy's birthday in January (a month after the previous conversation). I told Jerome "I'm dating someone now" He's like, really? I think that's why they call Joey Mr. Snuffalufugus - he was someone in my imagination that I had made up in the course of a month. anywho, that's us over two years ago. I'm glad how things worked out.

three way calling

remember back in high schoolwhen you were always on three way? it was like the "in" thing to do. well, last night i totally had a flashback to high school. i was talking to cristina when reg called me on the other line. i was going to relay the information back to reg anyway so i decided i would use my three way. i first had to ask cristina how to use it because it had been so long, but we figured it out. then we started talking and talking and talking .... for 3 hours! yes, 3 hours! it didn't seem like it though because we engrossed in such great conversation although reg couldn't hear for the last hour because she was delirious and we wouldn't let her get off the phone. anyway, gals, thanks for great conversation on my Friday night!

oh how He works

so this past weekend was our retreat. thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers and especially for your presence. it really made a difference. I think all of us felt Him there, working through all of us and through others and of course through Fr. Mel. Weird how so many things just seemed to fall into place this weekend; all because of Him. We are in for the long haul guys, but it is a beautiful thing. we need to be in the present and get updated in our walk. There's so many words that I would love to say but I think you'll be able to see the love in the pictures. I love you all and hope to see you at the next batch.

So here are some of the pictures from this weekend:

and they were all making fun of me because I bought the headlight ... look how they laugh! but, it really did come in handy... ask Ang

Jerome purposely blinks in my pictures ... I don't know why
and then he gets Pia to do it too ...
look it's Gracie, Cheryl, Lovette and "lil Kim" aka Larahere's our first girl picture of the night ... look how Dorothy lay

a couple of people switched around for this one but Dorothy still remains in an uncomfortable position
headlight to headlight ... I look like a mushroom head
I told the guys to turn around and this is what I got ...
Here are their faces: Brian, Leo, GB, Mike, Jei and Jerome
My, me and Reg before My leaves back for Vegas. Thanks for making the trip out my dear!
Day and me ... we usually have little eyes and big eyes together so we just covered them with sunglasses
Day and Cici are so good at their position ... give them your fees ... NOW
pleasure to announce the vice rec for Women's Batch 33: Ms Cristina Maaba
Eileen, me and Day in the back somewhere. I miss us!
Group shot before Anna leaves ... Margret, Franny, Cristina, me, Reg and Anna
The women of Batch 32 and Fr. Mel : Jelyn, Sarah, Kristin, Reg, Fr. Mel, me, Dom, Kirs& Cressa
We did it Reg!!! I love you my rec!! yes we were a wreck this weekend but it was all worth it ... the long nights, the lack of sleep, the exhaustion, the tears ... all worth it because it was so beautiful. basta. always














Cristina!!! You scared the crap out of me when I was eavesdropping on your conversation on Friday night... boy was that scary. I thank Him for your "okay" and I am so excited to go through this with you by my side. and yes, we are very much alike. scary. Go Batch 33!
This was on Monday when we decided that we were going to drive Reg back to Palmdale. We needed to eat and ended up at Zankou chicken. I'm showing the hummus and it's dripping all over my fingers. bleh but yummy in the tummy.

Ang is excited for the garlic butter but Reg doesn't look so excited. She thoroughly enjoyed her zankou experience. Thanks to you girls for keeping me company on the ride back up to Palmdale - for letting us stay at your place, for all of the wonderful conversations and words of discovery, for letting me practice healing touch on you, for being the beautiful girls that you are. I see Him in all of you and for this I am grateful. Until next time, basta.