communication

now i understand why i can't hold grudges. because then i start to feel bad. after my angry post yesterday i realized maybe i should stop and think. it still perplexes me why i would be blamed in this situation but i just wanted to say my part and i guess i feel better. putting all anger aside, i decided to say ... just listen ... and i did. and i guess it's okay now. that's one good thing i learned from my ex-bf. never say things out of anger. whenever we would fight, he would stop and say we couldn't talk about things now and then he would leave and then he'd call me when he was ready. by the time we would be talking again, i would have thought things through and then we would actually communicate. so that's one good thing he taught me. so now, when i deal with fighting words, i stop and say, i can't talk to you right now and don't respond until later. yeah it's annoying but it takes the emotions out of things and you don't spill out all of these nasty thoughts and words, you know what i mean? joey thinks it's pretty effective because he said that if i were to yell at him (and i don't, but if i did) then he would just tune me out. that's what he used to do with his ex. she would nag/yell/ nag at him over things and he would just tune her out which would just frustrate her more because he wasn't listening. but now that we both figured out our fighting styles, we tend to communicate better.