angry

i'm angry. and i don't get angry. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. why do people expect certain things and then when they don't get exactly what they want or hear exactly what they want to hear do they get see a need to blame someone for this??? arrgghhh. i really don't know what to say.

i just called joey: i'm so angry
joey: at me?
me: no, just angry at something ... explanation
joey: listening - he's good at that part
me: ok, just wanted to vent. have a good day

so i thought that would help but i'm still angry. but i don't hold grudges because i've always said that they're a waste of time and energy. so i'll just let it go soon. not now, but soon. arrrrrrrrrrrggghhh.

amazing what long showers can do. i just took one and i stood there thinking. i think i know why i'm angry. i didn't step back and think about the situation until now. i thought i was being consulted by a friend as a friend. but i wasn't. i was being consulted because i was my friend's friend. i was being used. i think. and that's why i'm angry. because i was used and now i'm being blamed. and that just sucks.